A few weeks ago, during my journalling time to God, we had been having a discussion. I had been describing some feelings about myself that are a bit too personal to get into with you here on my blog, but suffice it to say they were feelings, not really facts.
And God brought to mind a song I hadn't sung in years! The lyrics are:
"I will change your name
You will no longer be called
"Wounded, Outcast, Lonely or Afraid"
I will change your name,
Your new name will be
"Confidence, Joyfulness, Overcoming One,
Faithfulness, Friend of God, One Who Sees My Face"
And, I understood what He was telling me.
I need to stop letting other people define me. I do that sometimes. I am a pleaser - I know, it's a horrible quality - the quality of weenies everywhere - not the quality of the strong woman I want to be!
This is step B of a self improvement plan God is putting me through. Step A took a whole journal and a half to drum through my thick skull, even though it seems like a simple concept! Step A was a mantra I had: "Be kind, loving, and do good deeds. No matter what." This helped me when people were mean to me, or were mad at me, I used to take that on, and I jumped on their band wagon - I would end up feeling guilty...even if I didn't do anything! I know - another weenie quality. Ugh! So, instead of ingesting their ick, I would "Be kind, loving, and do good deeds." That was my job. Not beat myself up. Not grovel. Not feel bad. Not walk on egg shells. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but it was revolutionary to me.
Now, on to Step B: My new name. Be defined by nobody but God. Be defined by NO ONE. Least of all, myself.
I wonder if they'll be a Step C?
4 comments:
I am a pleaser too and forget who I am all the time! I still don't know, so far I am just mom. I know there is more to me but with little kids it is hard to focus on yourself without feeling selfish.
Great post!
I am a pleaser, but definitely not a weenie! :) lol .. I think you're completely amazing! Guess what? God told me so :)
You are who you are because God made you that way! I wish I could tell you how wonderful and great you are and you would believe me and walk into the world thinking about how great and wonderful you are. Instead all you hear is the bad things someone tells you. Please don't take that the wrong way. I used to be so self conscious about my body after I had my oldest two sons. I had stretch marks from head to toe. It took me a long time to realize that God made me that way for a reason. It made me stronger, it made me less full of myself and it made me a better person. It helped me help others when they are unsure of or self conscious about themselves or their bodies. You have to learn to accept what God gave you and make the best of it. I hope you take this as a good thing and not as me being mean or rude. I am writing this with the best of intentions. From getting to know you over the last few months I think you are a beautiful person on the inside and out.
I really like this, Pennie! Who hasn't struggled with this? So glad that we know the only One who even has a right to define us - our Maker, the Potter. We are clay - beautifully and wonderfully formed clay for which he has good plans. Praise God!!!
This post reminds me of our Leader's Training last January when Nita asked us to define ourselves through the eyes of God (more or less). That was so powerful for me! Loved it - love this post - and love YOU (you weenie)!!! ;-)
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