Hearing Voices

Like the title? No, I'm not going crazy! (Although, some who know me probably would beg to differ....lol!)
There's this country song (yes - I listen to country sometimes...NOW do you think I'm crazy???) ;) I've heard lately. I think it's called "I Hear Voices All The Time." It's about the voices this guy hears in his head - the past voices of his Grandpa and his Mom and such...good advice that he patterns his life after - work hard, love much - you know...
Well, I'm a sentimental sap. I love songs like that! (That's why I love country songs - there's plenty of sentimental sap to go around!) And I have plenty of wisdom that's been poured into my life by many people. I share some of it in my posts from time to time.
But, I'm a deep thinker. And, when I was driving around in my car this week doing my errands I noticed some of those "voices" that just had to make me laugh! I'll bet there are things people have said or done that they'd never guess would stick with me so long!
For instance...
I had some tough stuff going on when I was a little girl. And, I wasn't the most attractive little kid, either. I was the fat girl. Chunky, anyway... I attended this modern dance class at my elementary school. It was really cutting edge for my school - I went to a parochial school, and we didn't have things like that. And, it was headed up by a new nun (who wasn't a nun until her second year at our school). She was African-American (and I had NEVER seen an African American nun - and DEFINITELY never a young, pretty ONE...in fact, I don't know that I had ever seen a young, pretty NUN before!). She didn't care that I was fat. She stuck me in a leotard and put me in front in many of the recital numbers! Even though there were stick-thin, pretty girls who were probably better dancers than I all over the place! She made a scrapbook (before scrapbooks were "in") and I remember she took a snapshot of me during our number of "The Candyman" (This was the '70's, after all) and I was beaming. She wrote underneath it "Keep Smiling, Pennie!" She didn't know I was going through a really rough time. But, her encouragement to keep smiling formed who I am today. I haven't seen her since 7th or 8th grade. I looked her up and emailed her this week, and told her the story. I didn't expect her to remember me. She said she looked back at her portfolio and saw the picture and remembered that I had a beautiful smile. She said that whatever I went through, it was good to know I emerged a strong woman, and she wants me to keep in touch. "Keep smiling." A simple thing, really - but it changed my life.

Another thing this week - now this one is kind of funny, but I think of it ALL. THE. TIME. My brother-in-law is a retired deputy sheriff of a big town somewhere in the Midwest. When he was going through training, I was just a preteen or young teenager. He was kind of a hot-rod back then, and I went EVERYWHERE with him and my sister. (My sister is a bit older than I am and she was my pseudo-mom...she did everything with me...my poor brother-in-law...we were a package deal!) I vividly remember cruising around with him in his personal vehicle (I have never been with him in his squad) and he was narrating (and letting his testosterone show off) how to do some driving techniques. (Now, this was before I had my license...so, I don't know how I remember this, but I think of it EVERY DAY.) I remember we were speeding down a windy road and he was showing me how to hug the curves when in pursuit of somebody in a high-speed chase. When coming up on the curve he'd say "STAB-STAB-Power into the turn" Which meant "Stab the brakes" then "Stab the brakes" then "Accelerate as you go around the turn." So, whenever it's not icy or snowy and I'm the lone car on a windy road, I can't help myself! In my head is my brother-in-law! "Stab! Stab! Power into the turn!" Funny, huh? Don't tell on me!

And then, lastly...the other thing I think of EVERY DAY is my need to do daily devotions...which consist of journaling and reading my Bible. This was really impressed on me when I became a mom, and I was a mom's Bible study leader in a church led by Stuart and Jill Briscoe. Jill is an author and magazine editor and she and Stuart are evangelists. They're now in their 70's. Jill used to tell us moms, "Sleep deprivation is better than God deprivation." I applied that to my devotional life many times, because - like exercise - I can find a million excuses NOT to do it. But, the consequences of not being in the Word are a lot more dire in my life than if I don't exercise. If I don't exericise I just get unhealthy and ugly. If I don't stay in the Word I become a really horrible person - not who I'm supposed to be. So, when I feel like I'm too busy, and there's not enough hours in the day (um...like EVERY day???) I always think "Sleep deprivation is better than God deprivation."

Those are the things I've been noticing this week that come up EVERY DAY...tapes that play in my head. Words are pretty powerful. We have no idea how powerful they are, otherwise we probably wouldn't say half the hateful things we say. I try really hard to be mindful of what comes out of my mouth, but of course I'm not perfect (I know that probably surprises you...lol).

So...what things do you notice that you "hear" from the past? To tell you the truth, it was when I kept noticing this week the "Stab - stab - power into the turn" that I knew I was going to do this blog post and I started to pay attention to what else I was hearing regularly. Funny, funny, funny! Not what I expected...