Mercy!

Yesterday at SAMmy's, I taught on forgiveness and mercy. A few months ago, when I was writing the lesson, I had a revelation - we, as Christians, are often too quick to say "I forgive you" - even when we don't mean it! We should only say "I forgive you" if we really have forgiven somebody. Otherwise, it is a lie. If somebody apologizes and we cannot immediately forgive them, perhaps we should say "I plan on forgiving you, but I need to process this first. We'll talk about this later, after I have time to work through this." I mean, I don't know about you, but I was never taught this.

I've even taught my own children to respond "I forgive you" when somebody apologizes - kind of like "You're welcome" is the appropriate response to "Thank you". But, the Bible doesn't tell us to forgive as an act of good manners. In "The Parable of The Unmerciful Servant" we see a master who forgives a servant's humongous debt. The servant is grateful, but when he sees a man who owes him even less than the debt he'd been forgiven, he is unforgiving and demands immediate payment. When the man cannot pay, he throws the man in prison. When the master catches wind of this unmerciful behavior, after all the master had done for this servant of his, he becomes angry and turns the servant over to the jailers to be tortured until he can pay back all he owes. Then, the scary verse follows: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." Forgiving from your heart seems pretty serious. It doesn't even come CLOSE to just being good manners! The whole study yesterday, at SAMmy's was very powerful and raised some great discussion.

Then, we made these great beaded bracelets that spelled out M-E-R-C-Y in our small groups to be a visual reminder that when we are holding a grudge, we are really no better than the one we're holding a grudge against...that is the first step in the process of forgiveness.
Well, ladies - I've already used my bracelet. Yep. Yesterday, I had a run in with somebody I love dearly. I was trying to share my heart with this person, and this person read me all wrong and suggested that I had a problem with a particular sin. (In my defense, this person cut me off in the middle of my story, and was WAY off base.) I tried to continue with my story, but again, I was interrupted and this person suggested I try getting alone with God and really search my heart to see if this certain sin was a problem for me. (I did, just to make sure - but it really isn't.) I quit trying to explain my story, because at that point I was hurt. First, that I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Secondly, because this person should know me better by now. I'm not prone to this sin at all and this person should know this. They've known me for a few years now, we've been through a lot together. Sigh.

I'd like to tell you that I looked at my bracelet and at that moment I remembered my SAMmy's lesson - but, that's not quite how it went. :)
This morning, when I was journaling and reading my Bible, I first spewed out all the gory details of the encounter to God (read: I tattled on this person to my Daddy). Then, I suggested (or was it Him?) I deal with what was in my heart...it was then I remembered M-E-R-C-Y. My bracelet was like a lifesaver there. I'm no better than my friend. I've probably misread their motives at one time or another, or if not theirs SOMEBODY'S. I'm no different in that respect. I needed to let it go - and acknowledging the similarity of our sinfulness let me let go. Ahhhh.
I feel better now. And I really have let go. Forgiveness can be a tricky thing. And I forgave them - even though they didn't ask to be forgiven. And I'm free.