In Memory of 9/11...Where Were You?

Where were you?

I had just recently survived the trauma many moms can relate to this time of year - I had put my first born on the bus for the first time as the bus driver (read: a stranger I didn't know) sped away to a building of teachers (read: strangers I didn't know) who would spend more hours a day with him than I. I had to trust that he would be okay. (Granted, I did follow the bus the whole three miles to school that day, to make sure that bus driver made it to school in one piece. )

On this particular day, I was already used to the routine of getting Aaron ready and waiting with him at the end of the driveway, lunchbox and backpack in hand. I waved until I could no longer see the bus, sure he was watching for me from his seat.

I stepped back into the house and went about my ironing, the t.v. on in the background. I remember watching in disbelief as the news clips of the first tower being hit interupted regular programming. My mind refused to believe the truth for a moment...it seemed too awful to fully digest. Slowly, the realization hit me that evil was at our doorstep.

The malevolent images of smoke and chaos on the news reel that replayed over and over on my t.v. screen was in obscene contrast to the safety of my family room, where my preschool daughter played with her stuffed animals, humming a song she had learned in Sunday School and I mechanically continued ironing while I swallowed every word fed to me by the play-by-play newscast, a slow and steady diet of fear and doom. The news anchor commanded my attention as his alarmed voice warned me of the second plane that soon came into view and hit the second tower. And all day I watched as they were hit, and came down. Again and again, the news reels played and I was hypnotized, mezmerized - frozen by shock or disbelief, or maybe a little bit of both.

I had a sudden urge to pick up my son from kindergarten early. I was unaware that I was crying. I wanted to call my husband at work, but didn't know what I would even say.

I put Bridgette down for her morning nap and I did what I do when I am overwhelmed - I took out my journal and my Bible and I wrote to God. Immediately, I opened my Bible and do you know what my journal entries for that day show? I asked God to show me what all this meant, and I just opened my Bible. (I rarely do this, but I was just at a loss for what to do!) I opened to (no kidding) Isaiah 30:25, "In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall..." I gasped. Surely that was about a different time, long ago! But, when I read further in that passage it goes on to say "the sunlight will be seven times brighter" (I had just had treatment for basal cell skin cancer which I guessed was because of my love of sunbathing at the time.) God was telling me that He was in control. That this evil was not a surprise to Him, and that yes, it was a shock to me - and it was scary - and I should do all I could to pour out love to those who were suffering because of it - but I was not to give in to fear. He had it under control.

And I think that message is still the same today. If you've been affected because of some loss caused by the awful evil of 9/11, maybe you can take comfort in the last part of that Scripture, which was a promise for God's people: "the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted." Remember that God is just, and while it's not our job to get revenge - God will not let that evil go unpunished. And, God wants to comfort those who are hurting, even now, from what happened back then. He still has everything under control.

And, now I wonder - where were you?