The Most Ridiculous Way To Waste Time

I was going to spend quality time with Aaron. This is much more difficult than it used to be. Paintball hurts, and I am in the middle of an MS flare-up, so that was totally out of the question. I like fishing and he doesn't. Our options are REALLY limited. (This is really so much easier with Bridgette!) But, I was determined to have some quality one-on-one time with the boy! The stomach is still the way to this boy's heart, so dinner and a movie is always a great plan...thank goodness!

The dinner part is easy...there's so many things this boy loves. The movie? Well, it wasn't going to be a compromise...I love chick flicks, dramas, mysteries. He loves action flicks, blood, violence, kung fu. He probably would have settled on a mystery but there were no decent ones to be found. I was going to have to be selfless and let this be totally his decision. What did he choose? Warrior's Way. Total kung-fu type movie. You could tell from the cover.

Now, on the slight chance you would ever rent this (it's on DVD now), let me warn you. Even if you like kung-fu movies...you will be so shocked you will not know what to do. Because of voilence? No. Because it is so stupid. Seriously. I am going to give you a brief review/summary of the movie. I am not exaggerating or lying. This is really the plot line. The biggest shock? Kate Bosworth is in it.

It starts off with this typical kung-fu sword fight somewhere in the Orient. There's lots of hokey fighting.The lead character (warrior) kills off the whole clan, except this baby girl he finds in...a box! (Of course! The first of a bunch of odd things in this movie!) This warrior takes it upon himself to care for the infant. (Because we know sword fighters who kill off whole clans are humane...)
His own clan now hates him so he begins walking, and walking until the scene changes to...America! (Wow! That was a long walk!) He is still carrying the baby and her pacifier. He happens upon an old western ghost town that you'd expect to find cowboys in, right? It's like the old west with tumbleweeds and dusty streets and stagecoaches. Guess who lives there? (Are you ready for this???) A bunch of misfit CIRCUS PEOPLE!!! (At this point Aaron is apologizing..."Gosh, Mom, I'm sorry - I didn't know it was going to be like this...) Out comes this little black midget with the number 8 painted on his head, dressed in a colorful tuxedo and carnation. (Aptly named Eightball.) There are clowns and the bearded lady and other circus people. There is also a dusty, broken down ferris wheel behind the western ghost town. Of course.
There is one normal cowgirl among all these weirdos (Kate Bosworth), who has a tragic story of one of the bad bully cowboys from a neighboring town raping her as a child. He shows up later with his gang of bully cowboys and there is a shoot out between the cowboy gang and the warrior, who joins forces with the misfit circus people to defend the normal girl's honor. The action climaxes as the warrior's clan of ninjas comes in from the Orient to kill the warrior, too...so there's lots of fighting now between all three groups...clowns, cowboys and ninjas. VERY WEIRD!!!!

In the end, the warrior knows he has to leave everyone because he has caused too much trouble, even though he loves the normal girl. He leaves her with the baby. He keeps the pacifier to remember her. He goes to some snowy place (the North Pole?) and makes three snowmen - a daddy, mommy and baby with the pacifier dangling from the branch arm. (Awww...he misses the girl and baby....) Then some ninjas burst through the ice and try to kill him, but he kills them first. He stabs one guy in the eye with a frozen fish. (Have to admit...he's resourseful). End of story.

Stupid. Silly. Stupid.

The most ridiculous way to waste time.

Except, now Aaron knows I REALLY love him, because I sat there till the end for him.

What moms do for their kids!