The Dream: Part Two

Well, I'm going to start where I left off. You'll have to read Part One to understand this post.

I had been waiting to go to the prayer group that I attend monthly. I can't wait to go, because it's made up of some great friends who get into prayer as much as I do. We almost always hear from God and sometimes some funky-spiritual things happen. I'll give you an example of  what I mean by funky-spiritual. Last summer Logan (a woman from my funky-spiritual prayer group) and I were at an entirely different meeting along with a whole bunch of other women. I was a bit tired because the night before I had was awaken by a weird dream about a hurricane. It really freaked me out. When I woke up, I HEARD the hurricane in my home! It felt like the bed was moving! I bolted upright, and then the bed was still and the loud sound faded and all I heard was the sound of the train that was chugging on the railroad tracks a few blocks from our house. Had I been half-asleep and the train whistle seemed louder than it was? Did it just seem like the bed was jostling around because I was still half asleep? The dream had gone completely out of my mind until I came to that meeting. That is, until Logan  started talking about the storm dreams she had been having. *gulp* There were several similarities. I refust to write them in this post, because they are not my mine to tell, but what I can tell you is that they were similar. I started to cry - not because I was afraid or sad. In fact, I'm not sure why I started to cry. Everyone at the table turned and looked at me. (I am NOT a crier!) I told them about my dream. Now, I probably would have thought this to be a hoax (suspicious thing that I am) had the sequence of events been reversed and I had told my dream first and then Logan told hers. But...I couldn't explain this. (Not that I don't believe God does this...I've seen and been part of it before...but, it still is astounding and maybe even a little unnerving when I'm part of it.)

All that to say that things sometimes happen with Logan and others in my group of friends that pray together. So, after I had this last dream (which you can read about here if you didn't above...and you should, or you won't understand the rest of the story...) and woke up and just had this KNOWING that it meant something important - and then called Cathy (who happens to be on the prayer team) and she had no clue, I was itching to get to our group!

So, on the designated day, I arrived and told the dream, without leaving out one detail. It was almost humorous...the two others in our group (besides Cathy and I) - Logan and Kae both said at the same time, "You don't know what THAT means?"...as if it were obvious.

Uh, no.

I didn't feel particularly stupid, because Cathy didn't know either! :) I did assume the first part right - that when my two leaders took over the reading I was going to present and I took my seat back in the pews and started singing, I took that to mean that I was to relish the delegating I've had to do in my ministry because of the M.S. and the explosive growth the ministry has seen as of late. And, before SAMmy's I was a worship leader - in several churches - as we moved around. When SAMmy's was birthed, it became too much to be a leader in two ministries and I hated to give up music, but God told me that I was to be a cheerleader on the sidelines and sing from the pews - so singing alongside the guy playing the guitar in the pews was obvious to me that it symbolized that I was going to be doing something more comfortable and old hat. (I knew it didn't mean I was going to do music ministry! I STILL can't handle two leadership roles...especially now that SAMmy's is growing so rapidly!)

Logan and Kae agreed with that explanation, once I told them about the "cheerleader in the pews" thing God had told me 10 years ago. Logan explained that when I am able to concentrate on what is comfortable and what I am called to do (write the Bible study curriculum that I write and focus on leadership development) then others will be able to praise and worship God with what they are learning. They will be joyful and celebrate in their relationship with Christ, just as their dancing and singing was joyful and celebratory. The singing and dancing will be unified just like the different SAMmy's groups. Their prayers will rise to heaven like the smoke and embers of their fiery lace of their dresses that spiral upward toward God. 

Wow! I receive that interpretation! I love that! And so, I treasured that in my heart and, amazing I didn't forget it...because I forget EVERYTHING - especially dreams! But, I must say I tucked it away in my journal, where I wrote it. I don't know that I thought about it much.

And then...a few weeks ago, Pastor Tim gave the parting blessing at church and then said something about the music ministry being in the Ministry D'Jour booth after service to talk to anyone interested in being interviewed to be on a team.

And...I remembered that part of the dream when I sat in the pew next to the guitar guy and sang.

No, I didn't just remember it. It PLAYED BEFORE MY EYES.

Crud. You see, the reason God had me focus on one ministry and one ministry alone is because I began having panic attacks. Have you ever had a panic attack? They are HORRIBLE!!! I am a calm, sane person. I cannot do this! I don't EVER take on more than I can handle. EVER!!!

...ANYMORE.

NO!!!

...and then it played before my eyes I again.

Ugh. I hate it when God is so darn persistent! Then, I heard Pastor Tim say, "You can stop by the Ministry D'Jour Booth and pick up an application."

Oh - that's my out. You see, the music team at our church is super-professional. I may have been a worship leader - but it was EONS ago.

Okay - maybe a decade. But, in the land of technology, it may as well be a century. And, they are GOOD. Way better than I am. The lead singer of the main team was set to be signed on at a major secular label in L.A. when his lifestyle and the pressure sent him over the edge and he ran back to God...and his parents...and his hometown - which is here. He's REALLY GOOD.

...and so, I still said NO. Another excuse. Pastor Tim said, "Many music people don't think they are that good, so if you want to nominate somebody else, go right ahead."

????!!!! What? Well, people turn around and tell me I have a good voice all the time. So, I made a deal with God that if somebody ELSE nominated me I'd do it. I felt God telling me that I needed to obey HIM because nobody knew I was ever on a worship team. Nobody knew I ever sang professionally.

La,la,la,la....I can't HEAR YOU!!!!


Sigh....

To be continued...this dream is turning into a pain in the neck!