Lessons From Mascara

I always knew it to be true, but I've been a mother for years - my "baby" is 12 years old, for Pete's sake! I am humbled to say that a simple cosmetic product has forced me to admit that I, Pennie Bixler, still suffer from Crybaby Syndrome.

I've always had a soft heart - I've always rooted for the underdog, always been the one who took home strays. I was always "the sensitive one." In the days before kids I was only what I called "a social crier" - I cried in empathy - if I saw you cry about a problem you were having. I did my own crying in the privacy of my own home. But the true symptoms of Crybaby Syndrome began when I became pregnant for the first time. The hormones that surged through my system added to the problem - I cried at heartwarming commercials, and became emotionally sensitive when my feelings were hurt. By the time my bundle of joy came, my heart was changed, as many mothers claim happens to them - I experienced joy, love, fear, pain and sorrow in capacities I had never known before. All those emotions were accompanied by tears. And I was never the same. Ever. I became a different person as yet another child was added to our family. My life, emotions and heart (and body, for that matter) became unrecognizable. But, it was good. Very good.

Over time, as the children grew, I learned to harness the tears...or so I thought. Until recently... I bought this package of my favorite shampoo and conditioner - and with it came a bonus tube of mascara. Sure, it wasn't my brand - but it was FREE! I usually wear waterproof mascara, but that was out of habit - I had been doing it for years - probably because of those boo-hoo crybaby days, I thought. The FREE tube was not waterproof - but it was FREE! I tossed my old tube of mascara, and loved the lush way my lashes looked.

It was WONDERFUL! Until...my daughter came into the living room with her teenie-bopper figure and new clothes looking all grown up and beautiful. It was really breath taking. It brought tears to my eyes...and mascara down my face. At church, I tend to tear up when the Spirit moves me...and there I went again. My son went and did some really sweet things for me, and it was SO DARN NICE, it made me tear up...and messed up my face. And then somebody hurt my feelings (good thing I was on the phone, because she would have felt bad if she had known, and she'd be terrified to see those black trails down my face!). Soon, it dawned on me - I could not ignore the signs any longer. As I looked at my make-up smudged face in the mirror, I had to face the facts - I may have tamed the tears a tad bit since my children were babies, but I still had a heart that spilled emotion out through my tear ducts...Crybaby Syndrome is a lifelong condition brought on by childbirth. It happened to me. It happens to countless mothers everywhere. Our hearts are touched and they melt into puddles of emotion that are bubbling brooks.

Sigh. I guess that's what happens when your cup runneth over, huh? It overflows out your eyes. Some day, when my daughter gives me a grandchild, I will come to the hospital to see her and bring her a big, beautiful bouquet of roses...and a tube of waterproof mascara. She has a soft heart just like I do. (You should see the both of us watching sad movies! We're quite a sorry sight!) She may need two tubes.